How To Figure Out What You Want (Hint: Stop Trying)
Figuring out what you want isn’t always the easiest thing to do. You get to a point in life where you’re of what would make you happy or what would give you meaning.
I’ve been there numerous times and sometimes still feel like I’m at that point. Fortunately, life isn’t about having all the answers.
We’re all going through a process of discovery that hopefully leads us to the kind of life we hope to have someday.
You may get your answer after reading this article, but I do hope these at least get you on the right path.
One day, maybe we’ll all find exactly what we want out of life. But until then, here are some tips that can help you figure things out more.
1. Stop trying so hard to figure out what you want
Sometimes we can focus too much on figuring out our desires in life. You might think the longer you think about, the sooner the answer will come.
But it seems like thinking about what we desire leads us to more questions than answers usually.
Try to just let go of trying to know what direction you’re supposed to be going.
Instead, just focus on enjoying your time for a little while. Maybe in the middle of whatever fun you decide to have, you’ll uncover something deeper about what matters to you.
2. Reflect on what you don’t have
There’s something you don’t have in life that you probably already know you wish you had right now.
It might be a longing for love that’s missing. Maybe an unfulfilled dream that you’ve been waiting for the right time to pursue (Hint: Maybe the time is now).
Putting your attention towards what you don’t have may give you good ideas of what you really want to have.
3. Ponder things you’d enjoy accomplishing
Everybody has ideas of things they’d enjoy accomplishing one day. Even it’s just something small like planting a garden, you never know if it could turn into the passion you’ve always desired.
Take time to sit and write down all the things that you think would be cool to accomplish one day.
Keep adding to that list if more ideas come to you over time. You can find a way to start trying to accomplish those things and see how it makes you feel.
4. Ask yourself what really bothers you
Do you know that one thing in the world that really gets you angry or upset? Perhaps underneath that is a life journey that you yearn to take to helping solve that problem.
When you ask yourself what really bothers you, really think about the one or two things that get you emotional.
Choosing to help others is not only a good selfless act, it can also make you feel good too.
5. Try to do different things
These days it’s easy for all of us to get stuck in a routine that makes us feel unfulfilled in life.
We’re waking up, getting dressed, going to school or work, coming home, getting on our devices for the evening, and then going to bed.
Continuing that same “wash, rinse, and repeat” cycle can keep us from having any excitement or new joy in life.
Doing different things can give you a chance to see if some new activity or lifestyle could be what you’ve been wanting all along.
6. Get advice from people who have figured things out
You’ve already started this step by reading this article, but you can also ask people in your life how they figured out the things they wanted.
Someone who’s older would probably be the best person. Maybe your parents, grandparents, or any older person you’re close to in life and seems happy.
Ask them what led them to knowing what they really desired in life. Take in the lessons they give you and maybe try to live by them.
It might help you figure things out sooner than the older people were able to.
7. Believe you’ll figure it out eventually
You’ll be more likely to figure out your desires if you actually believe you will. Think of it like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If you have it in your mind that nothing will work out in a way that makes you happy, you won’t be looking for ways that things could potentially work out.
However, if you have a mindset that things can work out in a way that makes you happy, you’ll keep yourself open to something making that reality come true.
Keep believing your time will come where you get to experience the joy you want to have in life.
Final thoughts on discovering your desires
I like the idea that life is a journey rather than a destination. Maybe there’s never a point in your story where you’ve made it.
It might be the case that there’s always something new for you to figure out and discover about what makes you happy.
In a way, perhaps that kind of life is the most exciting for us to have. Continually experiencing new ways to have the joy we desire fulfilled.
When you look at things that way, maybe it’s not so bad we’re at this time of figuring out what we want right now.
Inspiring video on finding out what you desire
