Don’t Be The Reason Someone Feels Insecure

Whether we realize it or not, many of our choices, actions, and words often have a negative impact on the way other people feel about themselves. In today’s world, it is easy for us to get distracted by devices, obligations, and other people. We neglect to give our full attention to the person directly in front of us.

We all understand the feeling of insecurity all too well and it is not a pleasant emotion. If we don’t want to feel insecure, we should do our best to not be the reason someone else feels insecure.

Girl carrying chair

Define “Insecure”

Feeling insecure is feeling uncertain about oneself. It involves having a lack of confidence and doubting your value and worth. Insecurity makes you question your importance in the world and in your relationships.

Insecurities form in response to expectations. It may be in response to the expectations of our family, friends, partner, classmates, coworkers, boss, or society in general. Regardless, the people around us contribute to improving or worsening our insecurities.

When an individual is insecure, they cannot live up to their full potential. They constantly feel uneasy about their abilities, talents, and skills. Dealing with insecurity can also have several negative consequences.

Consequences of Living with Insecurities

Difficulty Forming and Maintaining Relationships

Insecurities cause us to struggle with relationships because we are not confident in ourselves. This lack of confidence leads us to question why someone would want to spend time with us.

It might result in pushing people away. Insecurities may also lead us to be paranoid that people are talking behind our backs. Between battling a lack of confidence, pushing people away, and paranoia, relationships can be almost impossible to maintain.

Struggling with Making Decisions

People who are insecure constantly question themselves and their decisions. Sometimes insecurities can prevent us from even deciding at all.

Feeling Misunderstood

When we feel insecure, it is easy to feel like no one truly understands what we are going through. If we don’t feel understood, we may stop sharing how we feel, and keeping those emotions might make us feel alone.

Experiencing Mental Unwellness

If our insecurities continue to progress and we continue keeping those feelings to ourselves, it might cause mental issues. If you would like more information about insecurity or how to cope with insecurities yourself, check out this post from Choosing Therapy.

How We Make Other People Feel Insecure

We all need to reflect on how we might be contributing to someone else’s insecurities. We often affect others’ insecurities without realizing it, so we must address some of the main ways this happens.

1. Talking Over Other People

We may do this intentionally or unintentionally sometimes. Either way, talking over someone else makes them feel like their voice, their opinion, and their words don’t matter.

When we are excited to say something, it can be hard to hold ourselves back. But by not waiting, we aren’t allowing someone else to be heard.

2. Constantly Pointing Out Flaws

Some of us may be pessimistic by nature and love to find the flaws in everything and everyone. Sometimes pointing out the flaws in other people makes us feel better about ourselves.

Does that mean we should do it? Absolutely not. When we constantly criticize other people, we make them feel more insecure about themselves.

3. Getting Distracted During Conversations

There are so many distractions in the world today that we can often get distracted when talking with other people. We get sidetracked by a notification on our phone or a thought about something we need to get done. Everyone gets distracted, but those distractions prevent us from giving our full attention to the person in front of us.

4. Avoiding Calls for Help

When someone comes to you for advice about a problem or about the way that they feel about themselves, how do you respond? Are you supportive, or do you just shrug off their problems as unimportant? Ignoring a call for help makes people feel like they aren’t worth helping.

5. Downplaying Their Accomplishments

If you want other people to celebrate you when you accomplish something, you should celebrate others’ accomplishments. People who downplay others’ accomplishments tend to be envious or have their own insecurities. Making someone feel bad about something they worked on can worsen their insecurities by implying that their successes will never be good enough.

How to Avoid Making Someone Feel Insecure

There are several ways we can avoid making other people feel insecure. Here are four easy strategies you can utilize to prevent amplifying someone else’s insecurities.

1. Give Them Your Full Attention

Put away your phone, remove the distractions from the room you are in, and devote 100% of your focus to the person you are talking to. Demonstrate that you are fully listening and understanding what they are saying through your body language and nonverbal signals.

2. Point Out Their Best Qualities

We truly don’t compliment other people enough. If you notice that one of your friends seems like they are having an off day, compliment them. A simple statement can go a long way in brightening someone’s day.

3. Encourage Them to Share Their Ideas and Opinions

Every group has one person who doesn’t talk as much as the others. Encourage them to share their thoughts with you or with the group. It might help that person feel more comfortable and confident to speak up over time.

4. Make Sure They Know That You Care

As mentioned above, it can be difficult for insecure people to form meaningful relationships because they might not feel that they are worth getting to know. Show them that you care about them.

Show them you appreciate their companionship by planning time to spend with them, initiating conversations, and helping them when they ask you to. Make an effort to ensure everyone in your life knows their worth and knows that you value their time and presence.

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