If you’re easy to talk to, more people tend to like you. I’ve been told often by others that I’m pretty easy to talk to.
I’ve also talked to people who were very easy to just talk about anything with. Given these dual experiences, I feel I can share some techniques to help you be easy to talk to.
8 Techniques That Will Make You Easy to Talk To
1. Let the other person talk more
I think most of the reason people felt I was easy to talk to is that I let them do most of the talking. Of course, I was engaged in the conversation, but I let them get to express themselves more.
We live in a society where a lot of people like to do a lot of talking. They feel the need to be the loudest ones in the room and barely let anyone else talk.
No judgment if you’re that person. I find talkative people to be pretty entertaining.
The more you let someone else talk, the more they’ll feel you’re easy to talk to. They might feel like for the first time in a while they’re finally getting heard by someone.
Science has even proven we enjoy talking about ourselves
2. Be positive and encouraging
People enjoy conversations that make them feel good. When a conversation feels good, it usually also feels easy too.
Take moments throughout the conversation to offer genuine compliments or words of encouragement about something someone says. It doesn’t have to be much.
Just a few kind words here and there can go a long way.
3. Engage with them about their interests
It’s easy to talk to someone who engages you about your interests. I knew somebody who really enjoyed movies.
They could go on and on about this movie and that movie. While I wasn’t much into movies myself, I could add in a few words here and there about what I thought.
I also asked a lot of questions, which research has shown that can make people more likable. Even if you don’t fully understand someone’s interest, you can always just say what you know about that interest, or just give your honest thought about it.
Just try to keep those honest thoughts positive.
4. Empathize with their struggles
Sometimes in moments people just need someone to hear their struggles. You never know when those moments are, but you can bet people feel like talking about them more than they actually let on.
Ask how different things in life are going for them. Ask about any challenges they’re facing in whatever they’re doing in life right now.
Be an attentive listener, dive deeper into their thoughts and emotions if the conversation allows for it, and show that you care about what they’re going through. When people can feel comfortable opening up about their current thoughts and emotions in life to someone, they’ll usually feel that person is easy to talk to.
5. Be non-judgmental
No one likes being judged for their thoughts. They just like to be heard and understood.
I find people think I’m easy to talk to because I let them share all of their crazy thoughts. I don’t usually criticize them for what they think, and I’ve heard some stuff a lot of people would find pretty offensive.
When they share their crazy ideas, I just offer my thoughts in a gentle way, while still respecting what the other person thinks. Being non-judgmental will make a lot of people think you’re easy to talk to.
6. Show your sense of humor
The easiest conversations usually include a little bit of laughter in them. If you can find a way to poke fun at yourself or a situation, it can bring some laughs into the conversation.
The only way someone could find it hard to talk to someone that makes them laugh is if they make them laugh too much. My guess would be that’s a problem most people don’t worry too much about.
7. Make good topic switches
People enjoy talking to people who can make a conversation feel a little bit seamless. They’re able to talk about one topic and find something in that topic that relates to another topic as a good transition.
I’m not a fan of conversations where someone just asks a random question after a previous random question and a previous random question. It feels like a forced conversation.
It’s easy to talk to someone who can just talk about different things and just keep the conversation flowing. It’s not a natural trait for everybody, but it really is simple.
Just find something that relates to what’s being talked about and bring it up as something else to talk about. With practice, you can become a pro at it.
8. Find commonalities
A Business Insider article suggests It’s easy to talk to someone that shares common interests. I consider myself pretty balanced in my knowledge and experience of things in life.
I’ve read a lot of different content and been curious enough to try different things. This makes it pretty easy for me to find some kind of commonality I can relate with someone on.
You might not have that same level of experience, but you can develop it by being more interested and curious about things. In the meantime, the safest places to find commonality is usually with everyday things.
School, work, family, kids, etc. When you and another person can talk and bond over a common struggle or joy in life, that will make you seem easy to talk to.
It’s easy to be easy to talk to
As you can see, it really doesn’t take much to make people feel like it’s not hard to talk to you. All it takes is paying a little bit of attention, letting people say what they have to say with no judgment, and making the conversation positive and fun.
Anyone can do it, including you. Follow all of these tips the next time you’re in a conversation with someone new.
Don't be afraid to be the first to strike up a conversation. A study found people are more willing to talk than we think most of the time.
Afterward, think about how much they enjoyed the conversation with you. You might find doing all this helps you to be more likable to people than you’ve ever been before.