Nobody Understands Me – 5 Ways To Be More Understood

Feeling like nobody understands you can be a lonely experience. You try to explain yourself and most people don’t get what you mean.

As a result, you’re less comfortable opening up to anyone out of concern for being misunderstood or criticized.

What you’re feeling isn’t uncommon. Many people go through this experience growing up through adolescence into their early adulthood.

People who’ve gone through experiences that are rare can also feel like most people don’t get them.

Fortunately, there are solutions for dealing with this feeling. Here are a few ways you can help solve the problem of people misunderstanding you.

Woman sitting on a dock

1. Reflect on yourself

It’s important to really understand yourself before you can expect others to understand you.

Particularly if you’re still going through adolescence or early adulthood, you’ll probably still figuring out a lot about yourself.

But the more you understand why you are the way you are, the better you can explain to others why you’re that way too.

Here are a few questions you can reflect on to get better understanding of yourself:

  • What makes you happy?
  • What makes you sad?
  • How do you want life to be?
  • Who do you strive to be?
  • What is your why?

In addition to consistently reflecting on these questions, you can practice daily journaling to unpack your thoughts in your mind.

You might also consider trying meditation or prayer to see if it helps lead you to a deeper understanding of yourself.

2. Look for different perspectives

Believe it or not, there’s probably someone somewhere that has a good idea of how you feel and what you’re going through.

The thing is, you can’t know that unless you find them. It’s a good idea to look for different perspectives by meeting new people.

Perhaps everyone has had a life that’s been filled with challenges that have tested them and led them to feel misunderstood at times.

Hopefully you find someone who’s gone through challenges similar to yours, but even if you don’t, you could find someone who’s had a life harder than yours.

In that sense, you can have a mutual understanding with someone about how difficult life can be. The person could also offer you some good tips on how they cope with their challenges.

3. Seek therapy

Most people find apprehensive to the idea of therapy, but a good one can help you sort out your thoughts and tackle your problems logically.

Consider that therapists have years of training and experience with helping people better understand their life and the circumstances surrounding it.

It’s entirely possible the therapist you communicate with has helped who’s dealt with the exact feelings you’re dealing with.

As a result, they may know some effective solutions that can work well for you. Additionally, psychologists usually strive to be unbiased when listening to you.

So, you should expect that you won’t be judged or criticized for the thoughts and feelings you’re having.

They may gently offer you alternative ways of thinking and feeling about things, but otherwise, they’ll try their best to respect how you feel.

Here’s where you can find a therapist near you.

4. Use analogies

Analogies can sometimes be a helpful way of explaining to people what you’re feeling and going through in life.

Try putting your pain into words that are visual to paint a picture of exactly how bad your emotions are right now.

It may even help you make more sense of what you’re experiencing that most people aren’t understanding.

One way I would sometimes describe my experiences of anxiety is it felt like everybody was watching me.

I would eventually get to a point where I no longer felt that way, but it helped explain to people how hard my experiences were at times.

It’s been proven that putting our feelings into words helps to make our negative emotions feel less intense.

5. Be patient

It’s understandable that when people misunderstand what you’re saying it can be frustrating.

Nonetheless, try to be patient with loved ones who don’t quite get what you’re feeling yet.

If something doesn’t relate to someone else’s reality, it’s hard not to dismiss those feelings being real for someone else.

But those that really care for you can come to a point of accepting and understanding your feelings even if they don’t agree with you.

Keep giving those who love you a chance to listen and a chance to eventually get the emotions that you’re expressing.

Final thoughts on being misunderstood

As lonely as it can be to feel that no one understands you, it’s possible to find people out there who get you.

It just takes time and persistence to eventually find them. Continue to improve at understanding who you are and what matters to you.

As you understand yourself better, you’ll be better able to explain yourself to others, and hopefully be more understood.


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